still here

Hello my blogger friends!

I apologize for not being around much these days, but I felt like I needed a little blog break.
Not a break from reading all your great blogs.
A simple break from trying to come up with something to write, and having to force it.

I've just been going through a rough patch, and it's not over just yet.
But I didn't want to be that negative person who comes here to complain.
At all.
So I felt like a break would be better.
I'm like that in real life.  When something bothers me, or isn't going well.
I kind of shut myself down for a little while.

And to make it worse, my work decided to block Gmail access from our internet.
Believe me, I almost went into panic mode.
Until I realized that iGoogle wasn't blocked, and I could still use the gchat feature.
Gchat is basically what keeps me sane throughout my work days.
And I know a lot of you feel the same way!

I'm hoping this little phase is going away very soon.
And that I will laugh and blame it on the Winter Blues.

There really hasn't been too much going on in my life either.
It's been a quiet couple of weeks, and I kind of like it.
It's been nice to get into the weekend with no real plans.
And being able to just relax. 

Have a GREAT weekend!!!



Fill in the Blank Friday

1.  I started my blog because  I used to write on, and thought it would be a cool place to document things.  It was private for the longest time though. 

2.   One thing I love seeing on other blogs  genuine people.  I cannot get over bloggers who post pictures of themselves posing as if they are models.  When did having a blog make you a model!?  I love bloggers who share their lives, and creativity, as well as fun things I can relate to.  

3.  Something I love about blogging  some of the people that I have met.  We may not have met in person, but I feel like they are my friends regardless.

4. A favorite blog post of mine is probably announcing our engagement, and telling our story. 

5. Something my friends in real life know about me that I've never before mentioned on my blog is  I definitely have a French accent, I'm not afraid to speak my mind, and I talk way too much!

6.  My new favorite blogs to read are on the side bar of my blog.  I'm always adding new ones.  They are the blogs I check on a daily basis, no matter what. 

7.  Some things I tend to avoid doing on my blog are  portraying someone that I am not, and being OK with the fact that life isn't as perfect as some other bloggers make it seem. 



Thursday Morning Thoughts

Hi Loves :)
I hope you are all having a wonderful week.

I've been kind of struggling these past couple of weeks.
New job, new commute, new schedule.
Going back and forth liking/hating my new role.
Coming home in tears, or with a little smile.
Being positive one day, and down-right negative the next.
I feel drained. Mentally. Physically.

On top of it, I caught a cold at the end of last week.
Friday morning, I was in the restroom at work, and could not stop sneezing.
On my seventh in-a-row sneeze, I strained my lower back.
(you can laugh, it's OK)
I could barely walk, and was sent home by my manager to work remotely.

By Friday evening, I could not walk straight.
I literally had to bend over like an old lady.
So I took it easy all weekend.
Loaded up on meds, ice packs/baths.
It wasn't pretty!

During those few days, I did a lot of thinking.
About my life, and about blogging.

I read a post from Emily, and it opened my eyes.
She summed it up perfectly.

I need to stop feeling so guilty for not posting every day.
I need to be OK with the fact that I have a really busy life.
I need to be OK with the fact that blogging is a hobby, not my first priority.
And I need to believe that my readers/followers will understand that.

It's interesting, because this topic has been going around, and it is a different situation for each bloggers.
I never started blogging to share my crafts, or skills, or anything really.
I blog because I like the social aspect of it, meeting really sweet/fun bloggers, and simply having something to distract me from the pressures of my daily life.
I mean, you can just tell by the fact that I started this blog in 2010, and I barely have a 100 followers.
I used to care about that, but I don't anymore.

Because I don't blog to be popular, or to gain followers.
I blog to escape.  But I mostly READ blogs.

So I may not always look "present", but don't be fooled.
I check all your blogs every day. 
I comment as much as I can. 
But I'm here. 

I wanted to talk about this, because I don't ever want you to feel neglected.
However I need to stop beating myself up for not being a good enough blogger.
So there, you have it :)
So please, bear with me on the weeks that I can't be "here" everyday.

Phew. OK. I feel a little better!
Oh and because I CANNOT stop listening to this, here you go!

such a Gleek!



Fill in the Bank Friday

Happy Friday Friends! 

Given yesterday's post, you can imagine how excited I am that today is Friday. 
Even though I have a cold, and cannot stop sneezing. 
I would rather be in bed with a runny nose, than being at work right now. 
I wanted to thank you all for your sweet words of encouragements yesterday. 
They truly made me feel better, and most of all, brought a smile to my face. 
I love my followers, and you are all so great!

I have a few minutes before another crazy day, so here are your Fill in the Blank Friday! 
Today's blanks are brought to you by Meg of Mr. C & Me.

1.   If money wasn't an issue, the first thing I'd cross of my life list is a trip around the world.  I would love to buy one of those one way around the world place ticket, and just go see all the beautiful places you only see in books, or on TV.

2. French fries with mayonnaise are something I like that other people think is weird.

3.  If my life were a movie right now, the title would be Garden State.  I am desperately trying to find myself, make sense of things, and come up with a reason/purpose for choosing a career I am realizing I don't like so much. 

4.  Three things I am looking forward to this month are Valentine's Day, getting closer to Spring, and getting through this rough phase of mine.
5.  My favorite song to sing in the shower is it really depends on the day, and the mood.  Lately it's been Rolling in the Deep by Adele. 

6.  If I found out that the production of  Twinings Earl Grey Tea was ending this month, I'd go out and buy as much as I could tomorrow. I don't know what I would do if they stopped making it - it is my go-to tea at all times.

7.  One thing I'll never grow tired of is spending time with my husband.  Even when we are both grumpy, or don't feel like talking, just knowing that he is there makes me feel better.



Change & Adjusting

I have to be honest with you ladies, I am going through a rough phase.
I knew this would happen, and I tried to prepare myself for it.

The truth is, I am not good with change.  At all.
I keep telling myself that this is temporary.
Three months from now, I will probably look back, and laugh a little.
But right now, it’s hard.  I don’t like it.  I want to cry a lot.

I’m talking about my new job. 
I know that starting a job is tough, and that it takes a while to adjust.
To understand the business,  your new role, your reason for being there.

I am lost, friends.  LOST.  I feel like I don’t know what is going on.
I know why I’m here, and what I am going to be doing.
But I don’t know if I like it yet.  It scares me.

I go home every night and I just cry a little.
Because I’ve lost my comfort, and my confidence.
I left a job where I felt smart, for a new job where I feel clueless.

I know it comes with the territory, and I know that it will get better.
But I swear, right now, at this very moment.
I just want to cry.  I want to change careers.  I want to stop working. .
I want to have babies and stay at home with them.
I want to hide.
I want to seclude myself for a couple of days, and not talk to anyone.
I just want to feel comfortable again.
I want to wake up, and WANT to come to work.

Again, I know this is a phase. It will get better.
In the meantime,  I wanted to let you know that I am here.
I read all your blogs, because they put me in a better mood.
I’m still trying to adjust to this new schedule, this world.

Thank you for being here though.
Your comments, your sweet words, truly make my days.