I don't have a clever title...I'm just trying to make it back.

I haven't updated my blog in ages - shocker.  There are so many excuses running through my head right now...like I'm a busy mom, I work full-time, I'm a wife, I have a house to keep organized...blah blah blah.  

So, when I'm in bed by 8pm scrolling through social media, playing Candy Crush or watching Gilmore Girls reruns...what is my excuse? 

If I'm going to be honest here, I would say that I just kind of lost interest in blogging, and since having a child, I think the exposure of it all kind of scared me.  For someone who loves mommy blogs, you would think that I would find it exciting to share my own experiences, but I think it it intimidates me even more.  

I still enjoy reading blogs though, I love Instagram, and I love getting tips from other moms. 

Being a mom is hard.  Being a stay at home mom is hard.  Being a working mom is hard. 

There are no in-between. 

I try my best to juggle it all: a great job I love, a new house that I've been having fun putting together, a pretty amazing husband, and a daughter who is the absolute icing on the cake that has been my life these past couple of years.  I constantly tell Michael that I am so happy, and feel so lucky that I am terrified something is going to happen; and he tells me I'm crazy. 

He also likes to remind me that we didn't get here overnight, that we worked hard to get to a point where we feel like we have it all (for the most part) together, and that it is time for me to appreciate it, and stop worrying.  But come on...he knows me. I'm one of the most ocd people I know, of course I worry. 

I guess he is right. It wasn't always easy, it wasn't always pretty roses, and we had our own kinds of struggle to get here.  So I SHOULD appreciate it all. 

Damn you anxiety. 

Is this why we decided to add another kid in the mix!? Ah...maybe not, but I couldn't be happier.  In just a couple of weeks, we will be welcoming a second baby girl to our little trio, and I can't wait. 

Our first time around with Milly was intense.  Those first couple of weeks were rough, and she was the opposite of an easy baby.  Feeding issues, reflux, colic, you name it, I think we probably dealt with some of it.  It was a challenge, it made us better people, and most importantly made me realize that being a parent takes a lot of work. 

So I'm ready for this!  Am I scared?! 

Of course. I mean, I worry that Baby E will have the same issues as Milly.  I worry I my emotions will get the best of me again, and I worry that I won't be the best mom to Milly while I am taking care of a new baby.  

I guess all I can do is wait and see?  Who am I kidding? 

I already have a game plan laid out in my head.  You know, us anxious people like to anticipate the worst, develop scenarios, and fix problems that haven't even occurred.  

Well hey, at least I'm prepared! 

So this is it friends...this is my life right now. 

I'm not going to try and catch up for the lost time, but mostly try to pick up where I left off, and see if I can make this blogging this happen again. 

In the meantime, I will at least leave you with some pictures of Milly because well, she's the best, even when she tells me I'm a brat, and give me one of those "I'm going to make your life hell when I'm in High School" looks.  

She is so fierce and I love her to pieces.